How to Raise an Empathetic Child
by Jayden Beaumont
Empathy is one of the most important qualities a person can have. It is a skill that allows us to perceive and resonate with the emotions of others, helping us build strong relationships and engage with the world in more collaborative, compassionate, and understanding ways.
Although empathy is an inherent human trait, it involves more than biology. As communications and health researcher Melina Sherman notes, “Empathy is something we cultivate and refine in an ongoing process … It’s something we acquire through nurture as well as nature.” In recent years, concerns have grown that children and teens may be less empathetic than previous generations. While research shows that this trend is a more complex issue than a simple decrease, there are still ways to help cultivate empathy in your children.
Tips on Nurturing Empathy
1. Modeling Empathy
In order for your children to learn empathy, they must see it demonstrated in real life. Parents have the greatest influence over their child, so when given the chance to exemplify empathetic behavior to your kids, take it. For instance, if your child is having a meltdown or throwing a tantrum, don’t let your knee-jerk reaction be frustration or anger. Instead, respond with a willingness to understand their perspective. Ask them to explain to you what they are feeling and why they are feeling it. In this way, you can also nourish healthy communication styles and emotional intelligence. Meet your child with openness and caring first; then move on to disciplining.
2. Talking About Feelings
Fostering open and honest communication about emotions shows your child that all feelings are valid; that it’s okay to share their own feelings and inquire about others’. Don’t be afraid to show your own emotions as well. It’s important for kids to know that everyone, even the people we look up to, feels sad sometimes. Vulnerability is also a strength, and it is strongly linked to empathy. People who are willing to be vulnerable with others are more willing to show empathy. By talking about feelings, children learn to recognize emotions in themselves and others, laying the foundation for compassionate and empathetic relationships.
3. Discussing Different Perspectives
Discussing different perspectives with your child is critical for developing empathy. It trains your child to recognize that everyone has their own history, point of view, and emotions—and even though these may differ from their own experiences, they are just as real. One way to encourage this understanding is to share movies and books with your child that center around characters of different backgrounds or ethnicities. Talk about how these characters are different from them, but also how they are similar. This way, your child learns to empathize with people who have different experiences from them.
4. Reading Nonverbal Cues
Being able to read facial expressions and body language is essential for developing empathy. Research has shown that people who are better at discerning fearful facial expressions on others tend to be more generous and kind. To truly empathize with someone, a child first must be able to identify what they are feeling—but this skill does not come easily to everyone. If your child seems to be having difficulty recognizing emotions, you can help them practice this ability through simple activities at home. For example, try playing “emotion games,” where you take turns making facial expressions and guessing what emotion the other is portraying.
5. Valuing Morals
Finally, you can help nurture empathy in your child by helping them develop a strong moral foundation. When children understand values like kindness, fairness, and honesty, they begin to see how their actions affect others. Regular conversations about right and wrong, and why certain choices matter help kids connect their behavior with consequences—not just for themselves, but for those around them. To reinforce these lessons, you can ask them how they feel after they’ve hurt someone else or made a mistake. Over time, these moral touchstones shape a child’s ability to step into another’s shoes, and respond with care and compassion.
Children’s Books on Empathy
Books are a great way for children to learn about emotions, morals, and understanding one another. Here is a list of books that can help cultivate empathy in your child:
1. In My Heart: A Book of Feelings by Jo Witek
2. Bugs in a Blanket by Beatrice Alemagna
3. Stand in My Shoes: Kids Learning About Empathy by Bob Sornson
4. My Sometimes Feelings by Leah Chana Rubabshi
5. You, Me, and Empathy by Jayneen Sanders
6. Milo Imagines the World by Matt de la Peña
7. We’re All Wonders by R.J. Palacio
8. I Am Human: A Book of Empathy by Susan Verde
9. Each Kindness by Jacqueline Woodson
10. A Chair for My Mother by Vera B. Williams
The Power of Empathy
Every child is born with the innate capacity for empathy—it simply needs to be nurtured. As parents and caregivers, you need only to guide this trait with care and intention, and in turn you will raise more compassionate individuals. The world could always do with more kindness and understanding, and real change begins with our children.
